I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
