You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
