I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
