Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there's paper in my vomit.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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