I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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