She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize