you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
