C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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