I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
