she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
