She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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