Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
