i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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