If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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