I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
