Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize