i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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