i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
