weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
