So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
