So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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