We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
