My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
