An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
