i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
