I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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