Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This house was built for laser tag.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
