There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
