So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
