You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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