Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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