Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize