How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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