it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize