Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
