Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
