p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
