You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
