I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
