I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
