Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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