dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize