i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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