Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
