I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Blood and glitter go together right?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
