Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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