Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
