he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
