I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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