Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
