Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
