What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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