More tranny stories later!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
