I molested 6 butterflies tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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