Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
