Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
