ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize