'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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