belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
