Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
