So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
