I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
